Its growing cold now...

Sometimes it hurts so bad to let those you care so much about go away,
then a quite voice tells me that it is not my choice but theirs,
I understand, I accept, I honour,
yet the pain does not cease to exist.

Sometimes it hurts so bad to let those you care so much about go away,
I want to fight it, I want to hold on till the end of time,
I do not want to let go,
yet the pain only grows as the time comes close.

There is so much still to say
but no words to say it,
There is so much to do
but nothing to describe it

Standing here I see but dont know
walking the days, a ragpicker on the streets,
awaking to blankness, only fear within
while i wait and wait, for the choice was never mine

where is the hatred, where is the anger
is it not the pain i should react to,
neither is there for the voice comes slowly
I still will lose her, I am losing her

Then the body kicks in, an automated response
you immerse it all into that lump in your throat
and see your whole self growing numb and more
you start to breathe, the jog lifts to sight

I know the world is fooled
but not within me.