I've been standardised...

So here I am, in front of the ocean, the waves falling through, the sand getting slowly washed in and out… and I slowly take a deep breath in, take it the salt air bit by bit, the energy, the freshness, and then in front of me, glittering magnificently; the vast strong ocean… and there in that moment, I am part of the it all, a small grain, just as the sand I feel between my toes; just as each wave, small yet unique and like each wisp of air, bringing in the ocean smell…
It is so special, this moment that no one else will have.
I wish that were true but this too can be standardized, each individual allowing himself to have that specialness, its what makes the memories so good, its what allows us to go forward and it is what provides us with that piece of the past filled with happiness. Be it the ocean or when a father holds his child for the first time, that hug from the one you love, the feeling at the top of a mountain, its so special, so unique, a secret which I hold close to my heart, something which words cannot describe.
And here in all this happiness, my mind breaks this apart; the detailing scrutinized, the ugliness thrown open bringing with it all the hopelessness and wasted darkness that lies within. For that precious moment I hold within myself is not actually special to me but to a million other souls. The ugliness comes in the standardization I make of it because I go into the details. I wish believing in Oscar Wilde’s would have been enough but then, it another detail there. The uniqueness is not in being separated but in being standardized for that’s what I’ve been made.