I can think, I can work, I live an independent life, I make my own rules, I don’t repeat what others say, I don’t get and wont get influenced by others – at some point, at multiple points in time, we would have, I have thought some of these lines. They give a certain kind of confidence, pride… of standing up by myself, of having made an independent thought, knowing that I am capable.
As I walked into the ice cream shop, I kept wondering of the fallacy of all this. Here I was asking the vendor which flavor was good, I guess my taste-buds weren’t working or the cone I got was a slow moving one. The weather was hot, the ice cream cooled things off a bit so I really didn’t care. More importantly my mind had already gone off into the next dimension. My ears were in the meantime catching bits of the exchange of words between the vendor and the next customer. I want the choco chip, is it good? Yes ma’am, it’s the best, freshly made. I haven’t ever heard a vendor say that his produce isn’t good, fresh or the best. Here ma’am, this isn’t that good, it was made last week, not too fresh but its ok, edible; wont that be the day.
The news last week was shooting out news of Haneef and his alleged involvement in the bombings; so much so, they made almost all of us believe it to be true; today he is released, innocent but already branded subconsciously; isn’t it?
There are so many average movies that become hits and blockbusters with reviews. A CEO becomes the next management guru because his PR agency had written or edited some of his outstanding write-ups. I let myself be influenced by those in my favourable environment. I trust the news channels to be giving me proper information, I believe that news papers are usually right and do not exaggerate. I also believe that my family and friends wont lie; and I believe that the ice cream vendor sells me the best ice cream in town even if its 3 days old. Today when I vote for a candidate, I don’t vote believing his words and promises, I vote for him because he seems to be the least corrupt. Fine, I might be exaggerating here but you get the drift.
I guess it is in-built in me; I don’t take all these things into consideration when I think, I’m thinking independently. My girlfriend or my sister would definitely influence my choice of shirt colour, “Your cupboard is full of grey shirts, why not get a red one?” , “this spaghetti is really good, you should try it sometime”, “I think you will fit right into a management course, this institute provides quality education…..”. Choices are influenced even without us knowing it. The first names when I think of non violence and freedom are Gandhi and Mandela; Vivekananda influences me, Hitler too influences me but in the reverse and so on and so forth, the list is endless and will remain so. This is because these do not come into reckoning when I talk about influence and independent thought.
I’d still take a choco chip or blackcurrent even if the tutti fruiti was made only an hour ago.
5 comments:
It's never an independent choice. It never will be. When I was younger - not that i'm old now - i decided to make an independent choice (and a very serious one)..... but the rejection or reactions you face , it kills you internally.... and then you just give up.... might as well follow a road taken, it doesn't lead to issues and complications - don't u think?
let me read about it in your next post :-)
Dear Anonymous,
Sure but I think I should respond here itself rather than have someone ask me to write something as my next post - would be an opposite to what we're discussing here on independent choices na. ;D
But essentially this reminds me of how elephants are trained. Trainers supposedly tie baby elephants with iron chains which they cant break & escape. When the elephant grows, it still doesn’t break the chains (though now it can) simply because it still believes that it cant. So it doesn’t try again.
Making decisions so as to escape a consequence and making an informed decision where by I also know how to mitigate adverse consequences is different. By pushing away responsibility and taking decisions, I anyway think that I’m only harming myself. The world doesn’t get affected, it doesn’t lose sleepless nights on it – its only my world that gets rocked. I constantly face similar situations where I too have failed when I tried earlier, I’ve seen my fair share of failures, had doubts & demons playing truant in my mind & had had to at many times force myself to make a decision even when I didn’t want to. Why? Simply because I know that tomorrow after the opportunity has gone, I will do two things – I will go back to my cocoon where the familiar surroundings give me comfort and second where I can keep it as one more of the opportunities I let go with a ‘what if’ at the back of my mind. Do I want to be there always, that is something you should choose for yourself I guess. Sometimes I choose to go back to my cocoon, most time I kick myself to going forward – I know if hard, I know I will face failure, I know I will have lots of people saying it wont work… but if I believe in it, then that’s my belief & no one else can change that. While I say this, I also know that its much more than only me – I’ve recently failed in a personal matter where decisions made from my side would have changed my future completely taking me to a new place, new environment, new career and I was ready to do so knowing well what I was getting into but it wasn’t to be; lets just say that you need two hands to clap! But what I do know is that I made a decision, I gave it my all even though I had my own doubts, I had my own failures in the past. Today when I look at the situation, I know I did my best & that I can sleep in peace.
Time & experience change things – what you were yesterday is not what you are today yet the failures of our past hold us back. Its something you need to intrinsically work on, something that you have to trust & something that as they say – give a shot because if not for that, what really is there for you to look forward to? I know I use the words trust, belief, thinking positive & hope loosely here but they mean a lot.
Cant type really long replies here I guess, so part two response to you dear anonymous –
Now after saying all this – I will come back to what you say/ ask/ doubt. Choices are all about the individual, the choice can have many things that weigh it to one side or another, it can be influenced and skewed. But the choice you finally make is yours alone for you have made it. Its easy to stand in the midst of a crowd and go along in the direction that people are heading or you can stop to think for a minute and decide for yourself as to where you want to go, where would you like to see yourself. Yes, you can see rejection, you can see failure, you can see adverse reaction but I have learnt the hard way that when I don’t , that’s what really kills you internally, that’s what decides what you will do & you will continue following it because that is what you are most accustomed to. I can pull out all kinds of sayings like Edison saying, I learnt a 1000 different ways of not inventing a bulb & stuff like that but I think you already know all that… in the end the decision is always yours to make. We all are always fighting our past, our fears – I am no different… we all do it in different ways but I think its important to fight them, that I guess is the key.
Anyway, what I wrote in my original blog post is not really about any of this, this is more seriously, more personal. Which ever way you decide to go, what ever it is the decision that you take, I hope you believe in it. Best of luck with it, when the time comes, we all realise we have more than what we thought we did – its always good to surprise ourselves once in a while. :)
Dear KP,
my my what a long trail of thought! i moved on, i don't really thing about the choices before - there's so much more to do right now and so many more opportunities. i don't regret my decision, maybe that was what was meant to be....i'm all happy the way things fell into place....
anyway, moving on, i'm thrilled on being called anonymous...
but u could call me sss if u like
Will catch up with you soon - i've got a class to rush for.
well, I'm glad to hear that anonymous & am happy that you believe that you have moved on. I was just responding to the question you asked on whether you should still see the world and make decisions based on a situation you came face to face with a long time ago in your past and whether you should handle all situations as you did then. But if you are happy and at peace with it, then there really is no discussion, is there? :)
Thanks for reading and corresponding your thoughts, do let me know know more if there is. Would be great to build & improve from where I currently am. Thanks...
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