Dragonflies

The badly lit metal works shop was having a routine day; Anand was wearing that big iron mask and was hunched down with the phosphorus welding rod, sparks flying all across him. Raju had at first been fascinated with it, it looked so beautiful, like the sparklers the neighbourhood children held with happy smiles during Diwali. But it had long since lost its sheen, like everything around him, everything had become part of his life, the heat was now noticeable now, he didn’t feel the fumes which had earlier burned inside his throat when he breathed, the screeching when the metal rod were being cut had become so familiar to Raju that it disturbed him no more, it has become part of the silence he lived in, everything had been absorbed. He had to come in early to clean up the room and stayed well after the sun had set. Malik was paying him Rs.30 more for cleaning and taking care of the errands of the shop. That was the only thing that mattered to Raju anymore, that little extra money so he could buy those medicines. His hand involuntarily went to his heart where he had stitched a piece of cloth making it into a pocket & inside it lay a worn out prescription which doctor sahib had given his mother a long time ago. The medicines were becoming more & more expensive. Motilalji, the local pharmacist kept telling him of the increasing taxes and of some doctors who increased some prices. He never understood what Motilalji was saying, all he cared about was that blue medicine syrup that his mother needed to drink two times a day, once in the morning and then when he got home in the night.
After work, he liked walking through the mall street with its brightly lit shops and hanging street lights, somehow these lights always seemed to have current, the local current shutdown never seemed to affect mall road & Raju always smiled when he thought of that. He had noticed it & no one else in his jhopadi had! Raju had first seen the shirt while passing through these rows of shops on night, a new shop had opened up and had been decorated with lights and garlands, a pumpkin with red kumkum lay on the side in front of the shop and there it was that he had seen the shirt. It was a half sleeves shirt, sky blue in colour with thin lines of yellow twisting and turning in between the mass of blue. It felt like the suns rays shining across the blue blue sky, a wonderful sight to lift up your day. And here it was that Raju’s obsession with the shirt began. He would dream of wearing the shirt and walking around the mela on Sunday; he could see Chameli’s gaze follow him as he walked or skipped and hopped down the tiny lanes. As he floated down towards his house, a tiny worry would itch Raju and his sleeping face would spout a frown, he would twist and turn on the charpai and would be like this for a few moments before settling back into his sleep as the dream faded away.
His mother was just recovering from the mosquito fever when she fell sick again which something the doctor saab said was dangerous, her eyes had become yellow and hollow, a terrible smell seemed to come from her skin and it used to feel like she was on fire. Doctor sahib was always in a white coat, the collar and edges had become dirty but he never seemed to notice, he was always in his clinic, talking to a patient, listening into a black rubber tube which looked like big mobile headphones but this he would hold against his mother’s chest and listen to something. He had told Raju to bring his mother every fortnight and on every check-up doctor sahib would shake his head and say, “Raju, bring her again, continue the medicines without fail and make sure she drinks lots of water. See that the water is boiled, not warm, it should have bubbles coming you understand?”. Raju would nod his head and bring his mother home slowly; she had become so weak that he felt he was half carrying her.
His mother’s fever did not deter him, the noise in the factory had become numb, he ignored the pain in his stomach which would start as the sun set every day, his one meal consisted of some rice and a watery curry which he bought beside the factory for Rs.4 every day. A day would not go without him hearing a stone dash and grind against his teeth. A wince and a swallow later and the stone would be forgotten. One evening, he had taken up the courage to stand in front of that window and peek at the price tag of the shirt; he had then hurried home and with a small candle which looked like it would give up anytime opened his notebooks. He had forgotten the last time, he had touched those books, they lay in his small trunk, under 2 sets of neatly folded clothes. Those books reminded him of his father, of his friends in school or a better life. Shaking his head to throw away those old memories, he opened up his math book and slowly counted with his fingers on how much he had to save everyday to buy that shirt. That shirt was slowly becoming his life, the blue was getting bluer and the yellow was looking more and more like the sun’s rays.
At the factory, he had been given two spanners; he had to tighten the bolts of a particular machine which kept coming to him on a big moving rubber mat. Every day these weird looking machines would come out one after another and he had to tighten the bolts on them as they came. They were shiny big machines that looked like engines but they didn’t look like any engine that Gafur chacha worked on at the garage next to his house. Ajeeth had gotten this job for him some time ago, a little after his father had gone missing. Somehow, Ajeeth had become some kind of bada bhai to him, he was always there to help, he helped almost all the boys in the slum. He worked in some big office which had lots of shiny buildings and had all kinds of amazing machines. He had a phone which played the loudest music, had video games inside it and even took photos, it was an amazing phone and Ajeeth used to allow all the boys to play with it. A rule had been set, each boy had exactly 2 minutes to use the phone after which he had to give it to the next person. Once, there had been a fight and Ajeeth bhaiya had taken away the phone and didn’t give to anyone for 2 months, then he started giving it again to everyone to play. Ajeeth used to take tuition class in the evening, and Raju used to go initially… then he suddenly started working so late that it would become night by the time he reached home.
Doctor Sahib’s frown had become worse, he didn’t shake his head but looked very worried. He asked Raju again and again if the medicines had been given, did he boil the water, what had his mother eaten? Raju didn’t understand, he had bought the medicines just as doctor sahib had said, he had spent so much to buy the aluminum vessel to boil the water, why was Doctor Sahib worrying so much, Ma would become better, now that the medicines were there & she was eating so much food, he had even brought Nariyal pani for her once and she had smiled. That day, he had cried so much, he had cried well into the night before the darkness stole away his tears.
The street lights were already shining when he stepped out of the factory, he could see the dragonflies buzzing around the halogen bulbs. It always mesmerized him, just like the winged insects which would approach close and then fall down dead. It was one of those things he just couldn’t understand. He slowed down as he passed the shop window, almost dreamily looking at where the shirt had been displayed, there was the shirt, the blue shirt … then he stopped, the shirt was there, it was blue but the suns rays, the yellow lines were missing… something had happened and he could comprehend it for a moment. Someone had already bought the shirt, his shirt; somebody was wearing his beautiful shirt! Who would dare take his shirt, how could they… his anger slowly turned to despair, tears started welling at the corner of his eyes and he started trembling. Not now, not now, he had to save for only 3 more days, if only mother had been ok, then he would have bought the shirt a month ago with his savings.
As he thought of his mother, he realized that she had been asleep in the morning and had not taken her medicine. He became scared, he had shouted out to her on the way out to take her medicines, had she replied? He wasn’t sure. He ran home in a blur, as he neared his small tin roofed shelter, he couldn’t see a candle light through the bare opening which served as a window. He ran in and made out the sleeping form through the dim light of the street light. She didn’t move when he called out to her, he shook her frantically but she didn’t awaken, her chest was not moving up and down. Raju couldn’t breathe, he just stood still, he couldn’t think, his little mind knew that she was not alive but he didn’t know what that meant, just that she wasn’t going to be with him anymore. He slowly moved away from his mother and came to the entrance of his house; he didn’t know what to do, he felt numb and cold. He just stood there, tears ran down his cheeks, the night rain slowly started as it did always; it fell on his shirt and torn shorts. The drops mingled with his tears and rolled down in small rivulets as he stood there in the dark. The streetlight across the road giving out a dim light as the bodies of the fallen dragonflies joined the streams flowing down the road.