How strong is my conviction, how strong is my thought, how strong....

I can think, I can work, I live an independent life, I make my own rules, I don’t repeat what others say, I don’t get and wont get influenced by others – at some point, at multiple points in time, we would have, I have thought some of these lines. They give a certain kind of confidence, pride… of standing up by myself, of having made an independent thought, knowing that I am capable.
As I walked into the ice cream shop, I kept wondering of the fallacy of all this. Here I was asking the vendor which flavor was good, I guess my taste-buds weren’t working or the cone I got was a slow moving one. The weather was hot, the ice cream cooled things off a bit so I really didn’t care. More importantly my mind had already gone off into the next dimension. My ears were in the meantime catching bits of the exchange of words between the vendor and the next customer. I want the choco chip, is it good? Yes ma’am, it’s the best, freshly made. I haven’t ever heard a vendor say that his produce isn’t good, fresh or the best. Here ma’am, this isn’t that good, it was made last week, not too fresh but its ok, edible; wont that be the day.
There are so many average movies that become hits and blockbusters with reviews. A CEO becomes the next management guru because his PR agency had written or edited some of his outstanding write-ups. I let myself be influenced by those in my favourable environment. I trust the news channels to be giving me proper information, I believe that news papers are usually right and do not exaggerate. I also believe that my family and friends wont lie; and I believe that the ice cream vendor sells me the best ice cream in town even if its 3 days old. Today when I vote for a candidate, I don’t vote believing his words and promises, I vote for him because he seems to be the least corrupt. Fine, I might be exaggerating here but you get the drift.
I guess it is in-built in me; I don’t take all these things into consideration when I think, I’m thinking independently. My girlfriend or my sister would definitely influence my choice of shirt colour, “Your cupboard is full of grey shirts, why not get a red one?” , “this spaghetti is really good, you should try it sometime”, “I think you will fit right into a management course, this institute provides quality education…..”. Choices are influenced even without us knowing it. The first names when I think of non violence and freedom are Gandhi and Mandela; Vivekananda influences me, Hitler too influences me but in the reverse and so on and so forth, the list is endless and will remain so. This is because these do not come into reckoning when I talk about influence and independent thought.
I’d still take a choco chip... I'm bored of writing about this...typing is too slow a thought process...
For ones who long for beauty, to go after something as ugly as money is indeed remarkable


Tides roll by, washing away sins of lore
A new beginning of love and peace
Across nations, people and race
Currency foretold, not within bounds
I see the value of none abound
To share and give, to receive as much
To know no value but that which is touched

No paper or colour of envy gone blind
Pockets of coins lay heavy neither here
As I stand looking at the dawn coming close
A trade of kindness shown miles around
As I sleep alight none to whisper the truth
Of shackles we wear thoughout the night
Wearily I walk into the sunset blind

As old as wine I turn within
Wisdom across ages come to noth
The simple I made to a harsh truth told
Chains I wear made of stolen gold
Wimpy old sailor, a man of tongue
Paid every Tuesday, a false pronounce
Yet I live better than he, and happiness rushes to me

The Sea Song

I wrote this on one of those escapes I loved so much to make. And when those escapes are to the ocean, then the power is that much more. Sometimes, I believe I will know life only when I die for then I will know what I have missed.... the oceans beckon.

Calm & peace, never known before
A silent sigh, deep within, to be heard by none
A silver sheen, as the shore washes my feet

Awake, alive, a whole new life
Love, happiness & feelings high,
Golden rays light my face
Shimmering thru the blue
Mix & match to colour the sky.

The salty air, cold & sweet
Welcomeing me, an old old friend
Too long have we, not having met
A heavenly welcome made for thee

As the oceans adorn their jewels
& wash the shore, a slow hum & smile
A song for only who want to hear
In rhythm for you, me & those silent tears..

The wind gently runs her hand
Fingers brushes aside my hair
Like a loving mother greeting her long lost son

A beautiful picture, for me the sky
Love & friendship not denied
Here I stand, in front an old new door
Peace at last, I enter my home


As in everything, there is a rhythm that you can only feel, your senses feel it, you know it exists and your hair bristles when you know the moment is upon you. And while you are at it, the very notion that to balance the same you will receive a time which takes a toll and tests you against time, that that too shall also reign on you. Sitting here on this chair with a blue cushion, my thoughts wander, I feel its traces walking across my being; like when you drag a heavy laden bag across those fine desert sands. I wrote this poem when in such a state and that’s where it arises from:

Over the sands & nomadic dunes, I dredge along,
A moving speck leaving a trail behind
All vastness, a pale brown & high above, A calm surround

Not knowing where or why I move
Feeling no sensation below my toes
I see I have walked a mile
The winds play their games, in swirls and mists
Till all the dunes are lost in time

My throat parched, long gone dry
Swollen and fiery, beyond it all
The sweltering heat, never a denial
Beating on my back, a sorrowless creature
As it burns my neck & leaving me weaker

A slow pace is all I muster,
A daze, a shadow, a trance that follows
My mind a dulled numb mass of weight
Just a burden, totally awaste

Slung across, pouch gurgling beside
That is my life, my present divine
Taunting, calling… slushing inside
Each step I take, reminding me
Of the elixir inside

I wait, a little at a time
Knowing it has to last me only a moons time
Back to life & the sweet liquid of desire
But the strength is only because of her

The day is kind for the westerly blows
The scorching sun losing to the time
The worst of times I lay aside
Remembering the oasis & greenery abound

Life! you’ve been an ode to me
As I walk along the sands of time
Free like the wind as it carries away
The granules wiping along my face

the oddities of the present

When people in the middle-east rise up against their regime, its a fight for justice
When the same happens in UK, the same govt that support the people in middle east, jail their own.

When S&P downgrades the US, what makes you sure that S&P wont be hit. I’m surprised, they haven’t found a scapegoat as yet and fired him for it. US influence should have done it by now.
...... & shortly, we’ll see them upgraded again, say a year or two at the most.

Why is it that when the US borrowed, they benefited.
Now that they cant pay, the rest of the world is suffering

Why have the Indians almost accepted Rahul as their future PM – isn’t it supposed to be the biggest democracy in the world. Yet we see almost an acceptance by resignation since nothing against the idea is said.

The world is supposed to be getting smaller by the day, yet the people are growing more apart. Social media is slowly becoming an oxymoron since its not supporting what social is supposed to mean (no, we use virtual intimacy for cognitive dissonance & for our lack of memory capacity only)

One Straw Revolution ~ Masanobu Fukuoka

An earnest and simple book on natural farming and the power of nature to re-generate itself - one mans observations from living with nature and observing rather than make the soil/ crop live or you.
Would suggest reading the book to remove a few misconceptions we have about farming and nature in general.